Just Deserts

The Rev. Brad Sullivan
Lord of the Streets, Houston
March 8, 2026
3 Lent
Exodus 17:1-7
Psalm 95
John 4:5-42

Don’t you just love it when your enemies get what’s coming to them? It’s like a delicious meal of deserved justice served with vengeance pie topped with self-righteous ice cream. It’s great. I love it when the bad guys fall and the really terrible people get exactly what they deserve. Enemies getting their comeuppance makes my little black heart sing. 

Then, the rest of me starts feeling pretty rotten, actually. That part of me that sings at other people’s misfortune ends up making the rest of me rather sick. Rejoicing at my enemies’ downfall may feed my cold little black heart, but it feeds my heart poison and grows in me like a cancer.  

It’s said that we are what we eat, and that is true of our spiritual food as well. Junk food and desert taste great, and when that’s all we eat, our bodies suffer. They stop working well. We end up with diabetes, and cancer, and heart disease, and even depression and anxiety can get worse from a bad diet. 

When we feed our hearts and souls with junk food, our hearts and souls become unhealthy as well. Vengeance, delighting when our enemies are hurt, that’s like really bad junk food for our souls. Think about what that diet really looks like: anger; rage; happiness that others are hurting, that’s cruelty. We can’t really be healthy and happy people when we feed ourselves on cruelty. We can’t be healthy and happy people when we delight in people’s suffering, even the suffering of our enemies.

See, the more we eat of people’s suffering, the more we want that food, which means we end up wanting people to suffer. So, even though our enemies might deserve suffering, when we delight in their suffering, we end up becoming cruel people.

Another problem with delighting in our enemies’ suffering is that we let ourselves focus on them, rather than ourselves. If they are bad and are getting what’s coming to them, I don’t need to look at ways I harm people. It’s still there, though, festering and eating us up from the inside. So, it grows in the dark, like mold, like fungus, rotting us from the inside. 

So, Jesus offers us different food. When he met the woman at the well, he told her he would give her water welling up within her to eternal life. Then Jesus talked to his disciples, telling them that the food he has to eat is doing the will of God. 

Well, what was the will of God that Jesus kept doing throughout his ministry? Healing people. Healing communities. Showing people a better way than the way of vengeance, a better way than the way of fighting and being against one another.

When the woman at the well asked Jesus which mountain was the correct one to worship God, he told her, neither was the correct mountain. The time is coming, Jesus said, when people will worship God neither on one mountain or the other, but they will worship God in spirit and in truth. 

So, what’s with the two mountains? They were the mountain on which the temple was built in Jerusalem and mount Gerizim in Samaria. The people of Israel and the people of Samaria were bitter enemies, so the argument over which mountain was the correct place to worship God was really an argument about which people God loved and which people God didn’t love.

So, when she asked which mountain was the best mountain, Jesus told her that folks would worship God neither on the mountain in Samaria, nor the mountain in Jerusalem. Instead, people would worship God in spirit and in truth. That sounds to me like all people get to worship God, regardless of which nation you belong to. That sounds to me like no more quarreling over whose mountain is correct, and if they stopped fighting over which mountain was correct, then they’d no longer be enemies. They’d no longer delight in one another’s suffering 

The food that Jesus offers is for each of us as individual people, and the food that Jesus offers goes far beyond individual healing. Jesus offers food that grows into healing among communities and even healing among nations. A community and a nation full of peaceful, loving, compassionate people is a community and a nation that will spread that same peace, love, and compassion to others.

Now, this is not about turning a nation into a Christian nation. Jesus wasn’t preaching to kings and rulers. Jesus wasn’t calling for a religious conversion of governments. Jesus wasn’t talking about forcing his way on others. Jesus was speaking to a woman at a well and to his disciples. Jesus spoke to the masses, to the people. Jesus met with religious leaders. Jesus wasn’t taking over a nation’s government to force change from the top town. Jesus healed and taught people the way of love to change lives and communities from the ground up. That’s things grow after all, from the ground up.

The food that Jesus offers feeds us in ways that lead away from bitterness, anger, and cruelty and into peace, love, and compassion. The food of taking delight in our enemies’ suffering, decays our bodies and souls, making us bitter, angry, and cruel. The food Jesus offers feeds our bodies and souls with eternal life, making us peaceful, loving, and compassionate. 

A community and a nation full of peaceful, loving, compassionate people is a community and a nation that will spread that same peace, love, and compassion to others. That peace, love, and compassion doesn’t spread through force feeding it, but by offering it and living it. When Jesus offered this food & water to the woman at the well, she wanted it. 

She ran to tell others to come and see a man who, “who told me everything I’ve ever done.” All Jesus actually said was that she’d had five husbands and the man she was with wasn’t her husband. Rather than dismissing this woman as sinful for having five husbands, let’s ask ourselves, “Why?” Only men could sue for divorce, so she hadn’t left her husbands; they had dismissed her. Why? 

Well, we don’t really know why five husbands had all sent her away, but we can guess that it left her feeling hurt and ashamed, probably bitter and resentful too. It could be a shameful thing to be dismissed by one husband, others wondering, “What’s wrong with her?” She’d been dismissed by five, so it’s a good bet she felt deep shame, like she was no good and unlovable. 

Then, Jesus talked to her, not like damaged goods but like a fully important, beloved human. “If he only knew,” she probably thought. Then, she found out that he did know, and he wasn’t shaming her or treating her like a lesser human. That was healing for her. That was the food and water Jesus offered, welling up in her to eternal life.   

The woman went from eating the bread of shame, bitterness, and resentment, to eating and drinking the love of God, the eternal life given by Jesus. Peace, love, and compassion was the food Jesus gave her, revealing the truth of her life, so she was no longer bound by it. There she was, fully exposed, and God was still calling her beloved. That’s being naked and unashamed, as we were created to be in Eden, in the beginning.

From there, the woman spread his message to others, bringing them to Jesus so he could feed them as well, the food Jesus offers growing from the ground up. That what Jesus calls us to do, to offer the same bread and water of peace, love, and compassion, to offer the same healing and eternal life we have be given to others. We’re reminded again and again to stick to this diet as well. 

As much as delighting in our enemies’ downfall is juicy and delicious (and it is delicious), it is also cancerous, harmful food which rots us from the inside out. Set aside that food. Offer it to God. “Here, Lord, accept my offering to you of my anger, fear, resentment, desires for vengeance. Accept my offering to you of the cruelty in my heart. Then, please feed me with your peace. Feed me with your love. Feed me with your compassion. Amen.”

Apostles of Forgiveness

The Rev. Brad Sullivan
Lord of the Streets, Houston
April 27, 2025
2 Easter, C
Acts 5:27-32
Psalm 118:14-29
John 20:19-31

Jesus talked a lot about forgiveness. He gave us parables about the forgiveness of God, like in Matthew 18:15-20 with a parable about guy who owed 2000 lifetimes’ worth of wages and was forgiven all of his debt. Jesus taught his disciples that as far and as long as there is vengeance in the world, that is how far and how long you are to forgive. Then, Jesus showed that he actually meant what he said when he forgave his murderers in the act of killing him. “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”

Sure, they didn’t know that they were killing God incarnate, but I think he meant that they didn’t know that their killing him, even just as a regular human being, their killing him was wrong. I know that because “Jesus didn’t count equality with God as something to be grasped, but emptied himself,” and Jesus taught that whatever we do to the least among us, we do to him. 

Father, forgive them, because they just don’t get that killing other people is wrong. Forgive them, even though they’re incurring over 2000 lifetimes’ worth of debt. Forgive them because they just don’t get it; they just don’t understand the horror of what they’re doing.

Then, when Jesus was raised from the dead and met with his disciples, he said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit,” just as he had received the Holy Spirit in his baptism, and he told them that he was sending them just as he had been sent by God the Father. “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them,” he said. “If you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”

If you forgive sins, they are forgiven. If you retain sins, they are retained.

This has become a bit of a power play in parts of the Church, hasn’t it? Some folks believe that priests, standing in for Jesus, proclaim people as being forgiven or not forgiven. Jesus did say, “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” So, there you have it; if you don’t forgive, they’re not forgiven.

Is that really what Jesus meant, though? If you select few proclaim my forgiveness, then I have forgiven someone, and if you don’t proclaim my forgiveness, it is because I have not forgiven someone? Is that really what Jesus meant? Maybe. Then again, maybe not.

Remember just how darn much Jesus forgave and how seriously Jesus took forgiveness. He taught his disciples to forgive for as far and as long as there is forgiveness in the world. I don’t know that he’s then going to say, “Oh, by the way guys, I’m often not going to forgive, and you’ll know when, so you can retain the sins of some people.” Nah. Not so much.

“If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven.” If you, or I, or anyone forgives the sins of any, they are forgiven. When you forgive someone, that person is freed and so are you. So, don’t worry about whether or not Jesus will forgive; I’m pretty sure we’ve seen that he already has. Instead, focus on your forgiveness, the forgiveness you give others. Your forgiveness is real. Your forgiveness is true. Your forgiveness is healing and life-giving.

At the same time, realize that your lack of forgiveness is just as real and just as true. Your lack of forgiveness is harmful and deadly. “If you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” You get to keep that poison, if you choose, slowly killing you and those around you. Even though Jesus has forgiven, our lack of forgiveness can still harm us and kill us.

So, forgive, Jesus told us. As the Father sent Jesus to forgive, so does Jesus send us to forgive, at least that’s what the story says.

How do we know that Jesus really did send us to forgive? How do we know that Jesus was even right in his commands for us to forgive? We often don’t want to forgive. We often feel like people don’t deserve forgiveness, and we’re probably right. They probably don’t. When it doesn’t feel like people deserve forgiveness, or even ask for forgiveness, how do we know that it really is ok to forgive? How do we know that it really is the right thing to forgive?

Well, the short answer is, we don’t. We don’t know that forgiveness is the right thing. We’re asked to believe.

Thomas didn’t know if it was Jesus he was seeing. His fellow disciples had seen Jesus, and Jesus showed them his scars. Then, when they told Thomas about it, he didn’t believe, and said he wouldn’t believe until Jesus showed him his scars. Then, when Jesus offered to show Thomas his scars, Thomas said, “No, that’s not necessary. You are my Lord and my God.” Thomas didn’t see what his fellow disciples saw, and yet he believed. His fellow disciples saw even more, and they believed. Mary Magdalene, the first apostle, saw Jesus outside the tomb, and she believed. 

We have their stories, and we are asked to believe, and we are also asked to believe Jesus’ teaching on forgiveness. We are asked to believe that we are Jesus’ apostles of forgiveness, sent by Jesus to forgive.

So, how’s that work? Does being sent as apostles of forgiveness mean that if someone kills someone we love, we should just say, “I forgive them, so just let them go kill again?” Of course not. We can forgive and still have people in prison. Safety and keeping others from harm is still a thing, but what about forgiveness and even release when someone is sorrowful for what they’ve done and has repented? Might forgiveness involve advocating for their release from prison? Might that be part of the life-giving healing Jesus had in mind? 

I read a story published in People magazine about a man who did advocate for the release from prison of his brother’s murderer. Kimyon Marshall was 15 years old back in 1998, when he killed Ruben Cotton over a pair of tennis shoes. Ruben’s older brother, Darryl Green, was torn apart by grief and anger at his brother’s killing, for which the murderer, Kimyon, received a life sentence. Over the next decade and a half, Darryl struggled with his anger and struggled for purpose, even though successful in his career. “Although Kimyon was the one behind bars,” he said, “I was in my own prison, a prison of hatred.” After 15 years, Darryl and his father agreed that it was time to forgive Kimyon. So, they went to his resentencing hearing, and they heard his remorse, and they advocated for his release.

At the hearing, Darryl shook Kimyon’s hand. They both cried, and Darryl said to him, “You’ve been known for taking a life, now let’s go save some lives together.” From there, they started an organization called, “Deep Forgiveness” which works with young people, helping them break free from cycles of violence. 

They have been doing this work together for years now, and forgiveness is still work for Darryl, but he said that “Once you forgive, you’re now able to unlock the key to your own prison cell.” As for Kimyon, he says that when he received the gift of freedom from Darryl’s family, he was able to give back to the community and work to save lives.

That’s the power of forgiveness. Darryl and his family retained Kimyon’s sins for 15 years, and those sins were retained. Then, they were ready to forgive him his sins, and his sins were forgiven. What came next was healing and life-giving. A man and his brother’s murderer, reconciled, working together to bring forgiveness and life to the world. That’s resurrection. That’s the gospel of Jesus lived out among us. That’s two men believing in the forgiveness of Jesus and then living as Jesus sent them to live, as apostles of forgiveness.

So we are asked to believe and live as well. Jesus said when we retain people’s sins, they are retained, and indeed they are. We keep that poison and remain imprisoned ourselves until we’re able to forgive, and that takes time. Then, when we forgive people’s sins, as Jesus sent us to do, they are indeed forgiven. We are apostles of forgiveness, sent by Jesus to forgive, just as Jesus was sent by God the Father to forgive, and when we do, we are freed, and there is healing and new life.

https://people.com/darryl-green-deep-forgiveness-man-forgave-brothers-killer-exclusive-7506937

Our Enemies' Sin Placed on Our Own Crosses

The Rev. Brad Sullivan
Lord of the Streets
April 7, 2024
2 Easter, Year B
Acts 4:32-35
Psalm 133
John 20:19-31

 Our Enemies' Sin Placed on Our Own Crosses

Did you notice that when Jesus revealed himself to his disciples after his resurrection, they didn’t recognize his face? Jesus was standing there among them, “Peace be with you,” he said, and then he showed them is scars. That’s when they rejoiced at seeing him. The disciples didn’t recognize Jesus until he showed them his scars. 

That tells me, not only did God chose to be wounded to join us in our woundedness. God also chose to keep those wounds. God chose to keep those scars.

See, the whole idea with the incarnation, the whole idea with God becoming human, is that God joins with us fully in our humanity. So, even after Jesus was raised from the dead, he was still human. God chose to remain human in Jesus because we remain human. God chose to keep the scars inflicted by humanity because we still have the scars inflicted by one another. 

Just as the disciples didn’t recognize Jesus’ face, we encounter people every day whom we don’t know, people whom we don’t recognize, but if we were to hear their stories, their brokenness and their hurt, we’d recognize their scars. Different situations, different factors, different lives, but we all have scars, and we know each other and have compassion on one another because of our scars.

Jesus, raised among us, could be any one of us. The crucified God, raised to new life, living in each of us. The crucified God joining in our scars, joining in our hurts, joining in our suffering and our doubts. The fact of our suffering is why God chose to suffer. The fact of our suffering is why Jesus’ final command to his disciples was that they should love one another. 

Then, Jesus’ first command upon being raised was “Forgive the sins of any.” Now, his command was given in the form of this conditional statement, “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” Jesus was not, of course, conferring power upon a few to begin a religion of sin management. Jesus was telling his disciples the truth about forgiveness. 

If we retain one another’s sins, they are retained. If we hold on to one another’s sins, we continue to wound one another. The scars deepen, with anger and resentment, and the damage is made worse. Notice that Jesus gave his disciples the command to forgive just after showing them the scars in his hands and side. Jesus was showing them the cost of a lack of forgiveness, the cost of holding on to one another’s sins. The cost of unforgiveness was Jesus’ life. The cost of unforgiveness is all of our lives.

A profound lack of forgiveness, and the anger, fear, and violence that goes along with not forgiving, is why humanity decided to kill God, to kill love, when love became human. A lack of forgiveness kills love.
So, Jesus showed them his scars and commanded them to forgive. 

Jesus was showing them and us true life, eternal life, God’s own life dwelling within us. Life continues on even after death, so we need not fear. We need not fear death for there is new life after death.

Forgiveness can feel like death. How can we live without our anger? How can we live without holding on to the pain? How can we live without holding on to our desires for vengeance against those who have hurt us? The truth is, there is a kind of death in forgiveness, and that death looks like crucifixion. 

When Jesus was crucified, he took the sin of the world with him on the cross to forgive all of us. Following his example, Jesus taught us to take up our own crosses. Take up our own crosses and bring upon them the sins of others against us. Take upon our crosses our anger, our fear, and our desires for vengeance so that we might be able to forgive as God has forgiven us.

Yes, there is death in forgiveness, and as Jesus showed us, there is new life after forgiveness. Of course, that new life can also scare us. The new life scares us because we can’t imagine living without our anger, our fear, and our desires for vengeance. Who will we be without them? Who will we be if we let go of our hurt and our desires for vengeance? 

Jesus’ scars show us that we will still be ourselves. That’s how the disciples recognized Jesus. When we put to death on a cross our anger, fear, and desire for vengeance, we are able to forgive, we find new life in forgiveness, and we find ourselves changed. We find ourselves healed. We find that appear different than we were, and we find that we are still ourselves, and we bear the scars to prove it. 

It's ok to forgive. It’s ok to let go. “Receive the Holy Spirit,” Jesus said. Let God’s spirit breathe new life into you. Be a new Adam. Be a new Eve. Let God’s new life heal you, and fear not. You will still be you. Accepting God’s Spirit, being healed and having new life, does not erase the past. Accepting God’s Spirit and placing the sins of others against us on a cross brings new life into the world. This new life is the life of love. The life of love is life that is changed, healed, and bears the scars to prove it. 

I’d like to end with a poem written by our bishop, Andy Doyle, about Jesus’ resurrection and his scars.

I am the nonbeliever,
the skeptic 
even a deceiver

I am the two faced Christian 
the Sunday morning faithful
and the weekday scornful

No,
Jesus
You 
Touch my wounds
seen and unseen
feel the broken skin of my hands
worked to the bone

see my broken legs
tired of the weight of the world
my pierced side 
from the back stabbers knife

I am the man 
the woman 
the child
who calls in the night
silently cries out
and weeps for loss

Give me faith
because I cannot touch

Give me faith
because I cannot feel

Give me faith 
because I cannot see

Give me faith

I am not the blessed
but the damned
the lost
and the weak

You are the one I seek
help me hear your words
your invitation
your grace

help me Lord Jesus
see my reflection 
in your wounds
my hope in your death
my life in your resurrection
~ C. Andrew Doyle

Thanks for Your Forgiveness, God, but I'm Really Cross with this Guy

The Rev. Brad Sullivan
Lord of the Streets
September 17, 2023
Proper 19, Year A
Psalm 119:33-40
Romans 13:8-14
Matthew 18:15-20

Thanks for Your Forgiveness, God, but I'm Really Cross with this Guy

Last week I said, Jesus taught that we are to forgive for as far and as long as there is vengeance. Today, we got to hear Jesus actually giving that lesson. “How often do we forgive?” Peter asked. “Seven times?” That’s a good number, biblical.  “No,” Jesus said, “not just seven times should you forgive, but seventy-seven times.”

That seventy times seven times is not just a number. Seventy-seven times of forgiveness is a reversal of vengeance.

In Genesis, remember Cain who killed his brother Abel? God wanted all the killing to stop so God declared that anyone who killed Cain would be avenged seven times. Then, Cain’s great-great-great-grandson, Lamech, killed a man. Lamech was also worried about vengeance. So, he declared, not God, Lamech declared, “If Cain is avenged sevenfold, then Lamech shall be avenged seventy-sevenfold.  

So, when Jesus said we are to forgive seventy-seven times, he declared that we are to forgive so much so that there is no vengeance left within us. As far and as long as there is vengeance, that is how far and how long we are to forgive.

Jesus, then illustrated the point of infinite forgiveness by telling a story of a man who owed a huge debt. How much money did he owe? Oh, a couple thousand lifetimes worth of money. He owed 10,000 talents, we’re told, and a talent was worth about 6,000 days’ worth of wages. So doing the math, 10,000 talents times 6,000 days of wages, divided by 365, times the number of years, and you get about 2000 lifetimes’ worth of wages.

So, an impossible amount that this guy owed, and he was forgiven. That’s how God is with us. God knows we need that forgiveness because it heals us. God desires our healing and our joy, so God forgives us. As far and as long as there is vengeance, God forgives us.

That was Jesus’ teaching about God’s forgiveness, and then, Jesus rather strongly encouraged us to forgive every bit as much as God does.

Let’s be honest. That’s tough. I’m glad God forgives me over 2000 lifetimes’ worth, but when someone has even three months’ worth of stuff against me, I have a hard time forgiving it. That’s how much the guy in the story wouldn’t forgive his fellow worker. A hundred denarii. A hundred days’ worth of money, about three months. He’d been forgiven 2000 lifetimes’ worth, and he wouldn’t forgive three months’ worth.

That sounds about right. Thank you, God, for your infinite forgiveness; I have a really hard time forgiving others. I do; I think I’m not alone in that. Forgiveness is hard.

Not offering forgiveness is harder. Holding on to resentment and not forgiving is like drinking poison, hoping the other person will die. We harm ourselves when we don’t forgive, thinking they don’t deserve it, it’s not just, I can’t let it go because I can’t imagine life without getting the restitution I’m owed. These are all good reasons not to forgive, and when we don’t forgive, we harm ourselves.

Of course, there are two sides to forgiveness; the other side of forgiveness is seeking forgiveness and making amends. This is hard as well, and we often don’t want to even try to make amends.

What if we aren’t forgiven? What if they make us pay up in some big way that we’re just not ready to pay? What if we can’t do or just aren’t willing to do what is asked? Shouldn’t they forgive us? So, shouldn’t we owe nothing?

Maybe so. Maybe not. When we owe an amends to someone else, it isn’t our place to demand forgiveness. If the other person forgives or not, that’s on them. Our part is to work to heal the harm we have caused. If that means we need to repay someone for what we’ve done to hurt them, ok, so be it. Our task is to offer healing, even when it’s risky, and in doing so, we find that we are healed as well.

Looking again at the healing of forgiveness, we saw in our reading from Genesis, the healing Joseph brought in forgiving his brothers. They had beaten him up and left him for dead, and then as an afterthought, figured they’d just sell him into slavery, rather than actually kill him. So, Joseph was sold as a slave in Egypt, and then over the years became powerful in Egypt, second only the Pharoah.

When his brothers asked his forgiveness, Joseph had the power and the right not to forgive them, but he chose the path of healing. If he hadn’t, then the nation of Israel would never have formed, and none of us would be here as disciples of Jesus. Think of the enormous healing that has taken place because of that one act of forgiveness. Whole communities of people throughout the centuries devoted to God’s mission of healing humanity.

That’s what the church really is, what we really are, a community of people devoted to God’s mission of healing and reconciliation through forgiveness. Unfortunately, we’re often not that great at forgiveness.

Think of the churches you’ve been a part of or chosen not to be a part of because there very little forgiveness, where people seemed not even to like each other that much. Think of the conflicts in churches over…I was going to say “piddly shit,” but you aren’t supposed to cuss in church, so I’ll say “small stuff,” the conflicts over small stuff that lead to rifts and fractures.

Little wonder so many people don’t want to be a part of the church when we’re often no better at forgiveness than anyone else in the world, and we’re often worse. Jesus and the forgiveness Jesus gives have so much healing for our hearts, healing for our relationships, healing for the world. How much healing does our world need right now? Fractures and divisions, hatred and conflict.

In the darkness of conflict, we get to be a light of healing and forgiveness. When forgiveness is undeserved, we offer forgiveness anyway, because the healing is so needed, for ourselves and for others. When we harm others, we make amends, even if it costs us, because the need for healing is so great. The healing of forgiveness and making amends brings us freedom and peace, and that freedom and peace grows in our lives, in our communities, and in the world.