Thanks for Your Forgiveness, God, but I'm Really Cross with this Guy

The Rev. Brad Sullivan
Lord of the Streets
September 17, 2023
Proper 19, Year A
Psalm 119:33-40
Romans 13:8-14
Matthew 18:15-20

Thanks for Your Forgiveness, God, but I'm Really Cross with this Guy

Last week I said, Jesus taught that we are to forgive for as far and as long as there is vengeance. Today, we got to hear Jesus actually giving that lesson. “How often do we forgive?” Peter asked. “Seven times?” That’s a good number, biblical.  “No,” Jesus said, “not just seven times should you forgive, but seventy-seven times.”

That seventy times seven times is not just a number. Seventy-seven times of forgiveness is a reversal of vengeance.

In Genesis, remember Cain who killed his brother Abel? God wanted all the killing to stop so God declared that anyone who killed Cain would be avenged seven times. Then, Cain’s great-great-great-grandson, Lamech, killed a man. Lamech was also worried about vengeance. So, he declared, not God, Lamech declared, “If Cain is avenged sevenfold, then Lamech shall be avenged seventy-sevenfold.  

So, when Jesus said we are to forgive seventy-seven times, he declared that we are to forgive so much so that there is no vengeance left within us. As far and as long as there is vengeance, that is how far and how long we are to forgive.

Jesus, then illustrated the point of infinite forgiveness by telling a story of a man who owed a huge debt. How much money did he owe? Oh, a couple thousand lifetimes worth of money. He owed 10,000 talents, we’re told, and a talent was worth about 6,000 days’ worth of wages. So doing the math, 10,000 talents times 6,000 days of wages, divided by 365, times the number of years, and you get about 2000 lifetimes’ worth of wages.

So, an impossible amount that this guy owed, and he was forgiven. That’s how God is with us. God knows we need that forgiveness because it heals us. God desires our healing and our joy, so God forgives us. As far and as long as there is vengeance, God forgives us.

That was Jesus’ teaching about God’s forgiveness, and then, Jesus rather strongly encouraged us to forgive every bit as much as God does.

Let’s be honest. That’s tough. I’m glad God forgives me over 2000 lifetimes’ worth, but when someone has even three months’ worth of stuff against me, I have a hard time forgiving it. That’s how much the guy in the story wouldn’t forgive his fellow worker. A hundred denarii. A hundred days’ worth of money, about three months. He’d been forgiven 2000 lifetimes’ worth, and he wouldn’t forgive three months’ worth.

That sounds about right. Thank you, God, for your infinite forgiveness; I have a really hard time forgiving others. I do; I think I’m not alone in that. Forgiveness is hard.

Not offering forgiveness is harder. Holding on to resentment and not forgiving is like drinking poison, hoping the other person will die. We harm ourselves when we don’t forgive, thinking they don’t deserve it, it’s not just, I can’t let it go because I can’t imagine life without getting the restitution I’m owed. These are all good reasons not to forgive, and when we don’t forgive, we harm ourselves.

Of course, there are two sides to forgiveness; the other side of forgiveness is seeking forgiveness and making amends. This is hard as well, and we often don’t want to even try to make amends.

What if we aren’t forgiven? What if they make us pay up in some big way that we’re just not ready to pay? What if we can’t do or just aren’t willing to do what is asked? Shouldn’t they forgive us? So, shouldn’t we owe nothing?

Maybe so. Maybe not. When we owe an amends to someone else, it isn’t our place to demand forgiveness. If the other person forgives or not, that’s on them. Our part is to work to heal the harm we have caused. If that means we need to repay someone for what we’ve done to hurt them, ok, so be it. Our task is to offer healing, even when it’s risky, and in doing so, we find that we are healed as well.

Looking again at the healing of forgiveness, we saw in our reading from Genesis, the healing Joseph brought in forgiving his brothers. They had beaten him up and left him for dead, and then as an afterthought, figured they’d just sell him into slavery, rather than actually kill him. So, Joseph was sold as a slave in Egypt, and then over the years became powerful in Egypt, second only the Pharoah.

When his brothers asked his forgiveness, Joseph had the power and the right not to forgive them, but he chose the path of healing. If he hadn’t, then the nation of Israel would never have formed, and none of us would be here as disciples of Jesus. Think of the enormous healing that has taken place because of that one act of forgiveness. Whole communities of people throughout the centuries devoted to God’s mission of healing humanity.

That’s what the church really is, what we really are, a community of people devoted to God’s mission of healing and reconciliation through forgiveness. Unfortunately, we’re often not that great at forgiveness.

Think of the churches you’ve been a part of or chosen not to be a part of because there very little forgiveness, where people seemed not even to like each other that much. Think of the conflicts in churches over…I was going to say “piddly shit,” but you aren’t supposed to cuss in church, so I’ll say “small stuff,” the conflicts over small stuff that lead to rifts and fractures.

Little wonder so many people don’t want to be a part of the church when we’re often no better at forgiveness than anyone else in the world, and we’re often worse. Jesus and the forgiveness Jesus gives have so much healing for our hearts, healing for our relationships, healing for the world. How much healing does our world need right now? Fractures and divisions, hatred and conflict.

In the darkness of conflict, we get to be a light of healing and forgiveness. When forgiveness is undeserved, we offer forgiveness anyway, because the healing is so needed, for ourselves and for others. When we harm others, we make amends, even if it costs us, because the need for healing is so great. The healing of forgiveness and making amends brings us freedom and peace, and that freedom and peace grows in our lives, in our communities, and in the world.