Who Cares Whose Daughter or Sister She Is?

The Rev. Brad Sullivan
Lord of the Streets, Houston
August 2, 2026
Proper 13, A
Isaiah 55:1-5
Psalm 145: 8-9, 15-22
Matthew 14:13-21

Last week, I saw something really awful and disturbing. There were several of us talking together, three women, another man, and I. After a while, the other man had to go, and he said, “hugs all around.” He hugged each of the older women and me with a quick, friendly hug, and then he got to the third woman, who was younger, and the man obviously found her attractive. When he hugged her, she was trying for the side hug, not really knowing this person, and instead, he pulled her close, squeezing her body to his, rubbing her back, basically groping her with his body. She finally was able to push him away, and he left, looking very satisfied with himself. 

It was disgusting.

He felt good pulling her body against his. He probably felt like a man, except those weren’t the actions of a man, not a real man. Those weren’t even the actions of a little boy. Those were the actions of, I don’t know what, someone who has lost part of his humanity. He didn’t see this young woman as a person; he didn’t treat her as a person. He just saw her and treated her like a piece of meat, a play thing that he used just to get hard.

That’s the same attitude towards women as rape, using a woman’s body just to get hard, to feel good, to get your rocks off. I get that a hug is not the same as rape, but the difference is a matter of degree. The man who did this saw and treated this woman as a plaything for his physical enjoyment. Her humanity didn’t matter, and even though it was only a hug, that’s a huge problem, that her humanity didn’t matter.

What do we often hear in defending the humanity of women? “That’s someone’s sister or daughter.” That’s a problem. Who care’s whose daughter or she is? She is a woman, a human being in her own right. She has eternal value and worth all of her very own. See, if her value only matters because she is someone else’s daughter or sister, then she has no value of her own. Well, if she has no value of her own, then it’s that much easier for guys to do whatever they want.

Look at the woman in John 8, whom people were trying to murder because she was caught in the act of adultery. What about the guy? They were all fine murdering the woman whose worth only counted as someone else’s, while the man, yeah, he got off scot-free. 

If we don’t truly value every human being as having eternal value all on their own, then we’re going to continue raping and killing each other just so we can feel better, or we’re going to do things like full-body groping people just to feel a little juiced, a little sexed up.

We’re going to continue to be disgusting with one another, if we don’t truly accept and believe that every single human being ever has eternal value all on their own.

I do mean “we” are going to continue to be disgusting with one another, because it wasn’t just this one guy devaluing and groping this one woman. What he did, we all do in various ways with one another. I’d guess most every guy in this room has at some point devalued a woman and seen her just as an object of lust. I’d guess a lot of the guys in this room have held on just a little bit long, wanting to feel the woman’s body against theirs, whether the woman wanted that or not. 

Disgusting behavior is, of course, not only something men do. Women also can see men as just pieces of meat, and everybody can treat others terribly. Every one of us has at some point devalued another person and treated them just as some thing, whether as an annoying thing or as an object of some kind of desire or way to get what we want. We use one another in a thousand different ways. We lie to one another. We cheat and steal from one another. We hurt one another, all in order to feel better in some way or to get something we desire. In all of these ways, we treat people as things, not as beloved human beings with eternal value.

In this way, we fill our lives with the hurt of others. We feed off of each other’s hurt. It doesn’t really help us, not for very long. The guy with the disgusting, groping hug felt better for a couple seconds, but he had just caused harm to someone else and hadn’t done anything to truly feed his soul. 

“Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy?” Isaiah asks. “Listen carefully to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food. Incline your ear, and come to me; listen, so that you may live.”

Of course, the food Isaiah is talking about is fulfilling the covenant that the people of Israel had with God. Stop chasing after foreign gods. Stop cheating one another and using one another just to get what you want. That is all food that does not satisfy. Instead, Isaiah was reminding the people to love God to love one another, to eat the food which does satisfy by following the ways of life that God had given them.

We talked about this during Bible study last Thursday, looking at the kind of spiritual food we eat. There is the food which does not satisfy, things like sexual immorality which I’ve mentioned a lot today; there is also the unsatisfying food of anger, jealousy, fighting, drunkenness and drug use, unforgiveness, and so many more things like that. Boy, those things sure taste good at first, but we are left feeling bad, wanting ever more just to keep feeling worse.

The fruit of the Spirit, on the other hand, is the food which does satisfy: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These are all good, rich foods which will sustain and heal us. Like most good food, it requires some work actually to eat the fruits of the Spirit.

See, the food which doesn’t satisfy, the anger and lust and all that requires no effort. If we just go through our day and wait long enough, something is going to make us angry, or lustful, or whatever else. It’s like eating a bag of chips: easy, fast; you tear it open and chow down. 

The fruit of the Spirit is like good food which requires some time to prepare, like cooking a good meal. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. We work at these things. Being led by the Spirit, eating the fruits of the Spirit means putting in the work to cultivate and prepare that good food. 

If we’re angry and want love, joy, and peace, then we need to take the time to offer our anger to God. We need to trust that any vengeance that needs to be taken will be taken by God, rather than trusting our own hand for vengeance. Time in prayer, time learning rules of a way of life that God has taught, and time practicing that way of life that God has taught, that’s some of the preparation needed to be guided by the Spirit. 

Treating people as full human beings with eternal value takes work. Taking a full-body, groping hug from someone, doing whatever we want to one another to get hard and feel good, that takes no work at all. We just have to let our base, animal desires take over and lose a bit of our humanity. Then we can eat all of that spiritual junk food we want, losing more and more of our humanity with every bite, or we can do the work needed to be real men and real women. We can do the work needed to be led by the Spirit and eat the fruit of the Spirit. We can gain more of our humanity and be healed with every bite. Choosing a life of Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, we can eat food which does satisfy and spend our lives on the true bread which comes from heaven, Jesus our Lord.

Who Cares Whose Daughter She Is?

The Rev. Brad Sullivan
Lord of the Streets, Houston
August 2, 2026
Proper 13, A
Isaiah 55:1-5
Psalm 145: 8-9, 15-22
Matthew 14:13-21

Last week, I saw something really awful and disturbing. There were several of us talking together, three women, another man, and I. After a while, the other man had to go, and he said, “hugs all around.” He hugged each of the older women and me with a quick, friendly hug, and then he got to the third woman, who was younger, and the man obviously found her attractive. When he hugged her, she was trying for the side hug, not really knowing this person, and instead, he pulled her close, squeezing her body to his, rubbing her back, basically groping her with his body. She finally was able to push him away, and he left, looking very satisfied with himself. 

It was disgusting.

He felt good pulling her body against his. He probably felt like a man, except those weren’t the actions of a man, not a real man. Those weren’t even the actions of a little boy. Those were the actions of, I don’t know what, someone who has lost part of his humanity. He didn’t see this young woman as a person; he didn’t treat her as a person. He just saw her and treated her like a piece of meat, a play thing that he used just to get hard.

iStockphoto / Getty Images

That’s the same attitude towards women as rape, using a woman’s body just to get hard, to feel good, to get your rocks off. I get that a hug is not the same as rape, but the difference is a matter of degree. The man who did this saw and treated this woman as a plaything for his physical enjoyment. Her humanity didn’t matter, and even though it was only a hug, that’s a huge problem, that her humanity didn’t matter.

What do we often hear in defending the humanity of women? “That’s someone’s sister or daughter.” That’s a problem. Who care’s whose daughter or she is? She is a woman, a human being in her own right. She has eternal value and worth all of her very own. See, if her value only matters because she is someone else’s daughter or sister, then she has no value of her own. Well, if she has no value of her own, then it’s that much easier for guys to do whatever they want.

Look at the woman in John 8, whom people were trying to murder because she was caught in the act of adultery. What about the guy? They were all fine murdering the woman whose worth only counted as someone else’s, while the man, yeah, he got off scot-free. 

If we don’t truly value every human being as having eternal value all on their own, then we’re going to continue raping and killing each other just so we can feel better, or we’re going to do things like full-body groping people just to feel a little juiced, a little sexed up.

We’re going to continue to be disgusting with one another, if we don’t truly accept and believe that every single human being ever has eternal value all on their own.

I do mean “we” are going to continue to be disgusting with one another, because it wasn’t just this one guy devaluing and groping this one woman. What he did, we all do in various ways with one another. I’d guess most every guy in this room has at some point devalued a woman and seen her just as an object of lust. I’d guess a lot of the guys in this room have held on just a little bit long, wanting to feel the woman’s body against theirs, whether the woman wanted that or not. 

Disgusting behavior is, of course, not only something men do. Women also can see men as just pieces of meat, and everybody can treat others terribly. Every one of us has at some point devalued another person and treated them just as some thing, whether as an annoying thing or as an object of some kind of desire or way to get what we want. We use one another in a thousand different ways. We lie to one another. We cheat and steal from one another. We hurt one another, all in order to feel better in some way or to get something we desire. In all of these ways, we treat people as things, not as beloved human beings with eternal value.

In this way, we fill our lives with the hurt of others. We feed off of each other’s hurt. It doesn’t really help us, not for very long. The guy with the disgusting, groping hug felt better for a couple seconds, but he had just caused harm to someone else and hadn’t done anything to truly feed his soul. 

“Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy?” Isaiah asks. “Listen carefully to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food. Incline your ear, and come to me; listen, so that you may live.”

Of course, the food Isaiah is talking about is fulfilling the covenant that the people of Israel had with God. Stop chasing after foreign gods. Stop cheating one another and using one another just to get what you want. That is all food that does not satisfy. Instead, Isaiah was reminding the people to love God to love one another, to eat the food which does satisfy by following the ways of life that God had given them.

We talked about this during Bible study last Thursday, looking at the kind of spiritual food we eat. There is the food which does not satisfy, things like sexual immorality which I’ve mentioned a lot today; there is also the unsatisfying food of anger, jealousy, fighting, drunkenness and drug use, unforgiveness, and so many more things like that. Boy, those things sure taste good at first, but we are left feeling bad, wanting ever more just to keep feeling worse.

The fruit of the Spirit, on the other hand, is the food which does satisfy: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These are all good, rich foods which will sustain and heal us. Like most good food, it requires some work actually to eat the fruits of the Spirit.

See, the food which doesn’t satisfy, the anger and lust and all that requires no effort. If we just go through our day and wait long enough, something is going to make us angry, or lustful, or whatever else. It’s like eating a bag of chips: easy, fast; you tear it open and chow down. 

The fruit of the Spirit is like good food which requires some time to prepare, like cooking a good meal. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. We work at these things. Being led by the Spirit, eating the fruits of the Spirit means putting in the work to cultivate and prepare that good food. 

If we’re angry and want love, joy, and peace, then we need to take the time to offer our anger to God. We need to trust that any vengeance that needs to be taken will be taken by God, rather than trusting our own hand for vengeance. Time in prayer, time learning rules of a way of life that God has taught, and time practicing that way of life that God has taught, that’s some of the preparation needed to be guided by the Spirit. 

Treating people as full human beings with eternal value takes work. Taking a full-body, groping hug from someone, doing whatever we want to one another to get hard and feel good, that takes no work at all. We just have to let our base, animal desires take over and lose a bit of our humanity. Then we can eat all of that spiritual junk food we want, losing more and more of our humanity with every bite, or we can do the work needed to be real men and real women. We can do the work needed to be led by the Spirit and eat the fruit of the Spirit. We can gain more of our humanity and be healed with every bite. Choosing a life of Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, we can eat food which does satisfy and spend our lives on the true bread which comes from heaven, Jesus our Lord.