We're Supposed to Hate Whom?

The Rev. Brad Sullivan
Lord of the Streets, Houston
September 7, 2025
Proper 18, C
Deuteronomy 30:15-20
Psalm 1
Luke 14:25-33

What are the two greatest commandments? Love God. Love your neighbor as yourself. That’s what Jesus taught. Any other rule we have in our way of life as disciples of Jesus depends upon love God and love your neighbor. In our way of life as the church, everything we do is to be tested, evaluated by, love God and love your neighbor. 

If something we start to believe or something we start to do fails the love God and love your neighbor test, then it’s probably not something we should believe or do.

Then we get today’s lesson from Luke 14, where Jesus said that we are supposed to “hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself.” We’re supposed to hate all of those people and even life itself, Jesus said, or else we can’t be his disciple. 

That sounds unfortunate. Somehow, we need to figure out how Jesus’ teaching to hate our family and even life itself can possibly pass the love God and love your neighbor test. 

So first, let’s try the hyper-literal method. Jesus said to love God, love your neighbor, and even love your enemies. Well, our families aren’t God, aren’t our neighbors, and mostly aren’t our enemies, so I suppose we do get to hate our families, right? Yea, Jesus! Even better, Jesus told his disciples to bless those who hate them, so if we hate our families, they will bless us? Doubtful. Besides, Jesus also said to give up all your possessions. So, going hyper-literal, if we want to be Jesus’ disciples, we all have to live naked without a penny to our names, despised by everyone who once loved us because we decided we had to hate them in order to be Jesus’ disciple. I’m guessing at that point, we might very well hate our own lives.

Obviously, that’s not what Jesus meant. So much for the hyper-literal method of biblical interpretation. (No one tell the your hyper-literal friends that doesn’t work.)

What if we actually look a little more deeply into Jesus’ words? Whoever comes to Jesus and does not hate their loved ones, he said, cannot be his disciple. At least that’s what it says in English, in this particular translation. The word was translated as “hate,” however, can also mean “disregard.” Whoever comes to me and does not disregard their loved ones and even life itself cannot be my disciple. In other words, be able to let your loved ones go, if need be, to follow Jesus’ ways. Be able to let your life go, if need be, to follow Jesus’ ways. That makes a lot more sense with what Jesus taught than, hate your family. 

As a side note, in about 10 different translations I read for this passage, all but one used the word hate, rather than disregard. I think that says more about us than it does about Jesus, the fact that we seem to want to translate the word as hate, despite how that goes against Jesus’ teachings.

Let’s look at what Jesus meant by disregard your family and even life itself. In Luke 8, we hear about Jesus teaching a large crowd of people. His mother and brothers came to see him, and when folks suggested he stop teaching so he could meet with his family, he said that his family are all those who hear the word of God and do it. Jesus did not show any hatred toward his mother and his brothers. He did show some indifference to them. He disregarded them in order to show his love for those he was teaching. They too were his family.

Jesus didn’t hate his family, but he disregarded them, he set them aside, when he needed to in order to live God’s kingdom in that moment. He was not forever saying goodbye to them, and he was not disowning them. He was just acknowledging that right then, other people needed him more than his family did, and if his family got upset about that, he was willing to let them. No anger. No hatred. Just setting them aside for a little while, rather than letting them be an excuse to stop his ministry. So no, Jesus didn’t hate his family.

Jesus didn’t hate his life either. Shortly before being crucified, just before being arrested, Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane begging God not to have to be crucified. He was really hoping to skip that part, his painful and premature death by the state, because he really liked his life. 

Nevertheless, he was willing to disregard his life if it meant following God’s will and God’s ways. 

Jesus had been led to preach, and teach, and heal people, and in all of that, his preaching, teaching, and healing, he angered the religious and political leaders of the day. Remember all that stuff God said about not exploiting the poor? Yeah, God meant that. Remember all that stuff God said about religious practices not really have a heart of love for the people society disregards? Yeah, God meant that too.

Jesus had run afoul of the religious and political elite, and at the same time, many of the people who followed him wanted him to be a great military ruler. They misunderstood and thought Jesus was going to lead an armed revolt against Rome, killing and driving them all out. 

So, at the time of Jesus’ arrest, it was either take up the mantle of military ruler and lead a rebellion to kill to all the Romans, or let himself be killed. Jesus chose to let himself be killed. Peter tried to stop it, grabbing a sword to try to kill Jesus’ accusers, and Jesus said, nope, thanks so much, Pete, but we’re gonna let this death thing happen. I’m going to disregard my life rather than kill and lead a rebellion, disregarding tens of thousands of lives in order to save mine.

Jesus loved his life, and he disregarded it in order to save others. Jesus loved his family, and disregarded them when he needed to in order to live God’s will and God’s ways. 

So, Jesus tells us, if we want to be his disciples, we need to be willing to disregard our loved ones and even our lives for the sake of following God’s will and God’s ways. If someone harms a member of my family, my gut instinct is to find that person and get terrible revenge against that person, beating them senseless, but that’s not the teaching of Jesus.

I’d definitely try to hold that person accountable for what they did. If I needed to get the authorities involved. That could be about keeping others safe too, but going out and seeking revenge, blood for blood, eye for eye, that is not following the teaching of Jesus. So, if I’m going to live as his disciple, I wouldn’t go seek revenge on my own against that person, and my family might just feel like I was disregarding them, letting them down. Why do you hate us so much that you won’t get revenge? 

Because I believe in the ways of Jesus. I believe that seeking revenge only brings about more revenge from the others person. Fighting and killing as revenge for fighting and killing never ends. If we need to disregard our family’s desires for revenge in order to break a cycle of violence and follow Jesus’ teaching, then so be it.  

Being Jesus’ disciple has a cost to it. Sometimes it’s disregarding the desires of those we love. Sometimes it’s disregarding our own desires, because trusting in Jesus’ teaching and Jesus’ ways, we come to believe that there will be greater healing and greater love in the world if we sometimes disregard our own desires. We come to believe that there will be greater healing and greater love in the world if we sometimes disregard our loved ones’ desires. 

That’s a cost. What we get for that cost is greater peace, with work, over time. Disregarding our own desires and our loved one’s desire in order to follow Jesus’ teaching is a cost, and what we get for that cost is to be servants of peace, offering peace and healing to those around us. 

Living as Jesus’ disciples comes at a cost. Not always getting what we want, not always giving our loved ones what they want to. Consider, however, that we’re not always going to get what we want anyway, and we’re definitely going to let our loved ones down anyway. The cost of living as Jesus’ disciple can be high, but you know what? We’re usually going to end up paying some kind of cost in this life anyway. Paying the cost as Jesus’ disciples, we get peace. We get love. We get healing, and we get to share that peace, love, and healing with the world. 

Eternal Life Is for After We Die, and other Ridiculous Things Preachers Say

The Rev. Brad Sullivan
Lord of the Streets, Houston
October 13, 2024
Proper 23, B
Amos 5:6-7,10-15
Psalm 90:12-17
Mark 10:17-31

“What must I do to inherit eternal life?” That’s what the man in today’s gospel story asked Jesus. Of course he buttered him up a bit first, calling him “good teacher.” Maybe he was just being polite, but he also seems a little bit smarmy to me, like he was trying to butter Jesus up a bit to prove that he really was worthy of eternal life, that he really would get the best of everything. It seems that this man’s only real interest was himself and getting into God’s good graces.

Notice that his initial question was totally selfish. “What must I do to inherit eternal life?” He wasn’t interested in helping bring about the Kingdom of God here on earth. He wasn’t interested in healing the wounds of the world. 

No, his only interest was himself. “How can I make sure things turn out as well as they possibly can for me…and only me?” He asked. “I’ve got enormous riches, I have no interest in helping others, and I want to make sure I have the best of everything after this life too.” Like I said, kinda smarmy. Selfish.

Of course, wanting to be worthy of God’s rewards and wanting to inherit goodness for himself, that probably went along with what he’d been taught. Keep God happy with you. Make sure to follow all the rules just right so you don’t make God angry. If others aren’t following God’s rules, make sure to stay away from them so you don’t get defiled by them. Look out for you and yours. Follow the laws, and God will reward you. Sound kinda familiar to some?

The trouble is, such a selfish way of life is completely misunderstanding scripture; misunderstanding the laws of God; and misunderstanding salvation, eternal life, and the kingdom of God.

Making sure things turn out well for me is not the way of the Kingdom of God. Making sure things turn out well for me is not inheriting eternal life. Making sure things turn out well for me is not, in fact, salvation.

Eternal life, the kingdom of God, and salvation itself are “Love God, and love people.” Anything that helps you do that is following the ways of God. Anything that helps you love God and love people is inheriting eternal life. See, eternal life is the life of God, and when we love God and love people, we are living the eternal life of God. If any want to inherit eternal life, love God and love people, and you’ll find that you are living the eternal life of God here and now.

For the man asking Jesus about what he needed to do to inherit eternal life, he seems to have been thinking about life later on, after life here on earth. He somehow had the life of God detached from this life. He seems to have had the ridiculous notion that life here on earth is just setting us up for something better or worse later on, as though the only point of this life is the next life. Does that also sound familiar to some? That’s insane. The point of this life is this life and how well we love God and love others in this life.

We were made to be people of love. We were made to be people who support one another and care for one another. We were made to care for the earth, this beautiful home God has given us.

You may have heard a song called, “Made to Worship,” with a chorus which begins with, “You and I were made to worship.” My response in hearing that chorus has always been, “No we weren’t,” because I thought the song was saying that we were made for the purpose of being in churches singing to God. That sounds to me like we were made to make God happy be stroking his ego. If I’m religious enough, God will be happy with me and will reward me. That’s insane. That’s not what we were made to do.

So, when I was preparing this sermon, I thought of the song “Made to Worship” as an example of religion gone crazy, and then I looked at the rest of the lyrics, and it’s actually talking about living the kingdom of God.  “You and I were made to worship; you and I are called to love; you and I are forgiven and free. You and I embrace surrender; you and I choose to believe, then you and I will see who we were meant to be.”

Loving others. Accepting and surrendering to God’s forgiveness and the freedom God gives, choosing to believe in God and in God’s ways, despite them not always making sense to us…by doing those things, the songs says, we will see who we were meant to be. We’ll see that we were meant to be people of love. Our worship is meant to help us understand that above all, God desires us to love one another, and then when we do, we find that love to be our true worship of God.

Now, when the man asked Jesus about inheriting eternal life, Jesus responded that the man’s wealth was getting in the way of him loving God and loving people.

“What are you talking about, Jesus, I can have as much wealth as I want. There ain’t no law against it.” True, there’s no specific law against having great wealth, but Jesus’ teaching asks us, “Does what you’re doing help you to love God and to love people, or does what you’re doing make loving God and loving people harder?”

For the man who asked Jesus about inheriting eternal life, his great wealth was making loving God and loving people harder for him. We know this because when Jesus suggested that he sell some of his stuff and give the proceeds to the poor, he walked away from Jesus. He loved his stuff more than he loved people in need. Love God and love people was eclipsed by, “But I really love my stuff.”

Jesus taught that even though there ain’t no law against having as much money as you want, the reason one would have all that wealth is to care for other people, to love God by loving people. Jesus told a parable of a wealthy landowner, who paid everyone who worked for him a full, living wage. Even folks who were only able to work for an hour got a full living wage.

The man in Jesus’ parable had more than enough, and he had love in his heart so that what he did with his stuff was to make sure others had enough as well, not just enough to barely scrape by, but truly enough. Using his wealth to make sure that even those who could only work an hour had a living wage, that was his worship. That was inheriting and living eternal life, not in some after-we’re-dead future, but right then and there, because his life wasn’t bound up in his money, his stuff, for his sake. His life was bound up in the love and care he had for others.

The man who asked Jesus about inheriting eternal life was primarily focused on himself, and any salvation this is primarily focused on things turning out well for me is ultimately not salvation but just more love of stuff. In such a false salvation the stuff we love is just ourselves, and a salvation centered on self is not eternal life; it’s just selfishness.

Jesus showed us in his life and ministry what salvation truly is, what eternal life truly is, and what the Kingdom of God truly is. “Love God and love people.” Whatever helps us love God and love people is true worship of God, and a life lived by loving God through loving people, that is eternal life.